The feeling that we’ve done it all wrong…

by Ruth Elpida Sasek (22 y.)

“We have this feeling often enough. We think: Now I’ve done everything wrong, now it can’t turn out well. But the Lord says: Why not? After all, if I make the rules of the game, no matter what you did wrong, whether you wanted to or not, it comes out BETTER in the end!” Big and fat, I wrote these lines in my notebook. This is an excerpt from our ministry’s annual conference of December 2021. Sooo often and soo quickly I always have the feeling that I’ve made a huge mistake that can no longer turn out well. There is ALWAYS a reason for me to sink into the ground … But that is WRONG. Why? Because EVERYTHING has to turn out for the very best when you live with God.

I’d like to tell you a practical example of this. One evening I managed to make an expensive, untimely and unsuccessful online purchase: It was a program that I could use for music production. In a hurry, I ordered an upgrade from the version I already had on my computer. But that was not compatable, as I found out after the purchase. So I looked for a purchasable, older version of the program, so that the upgrade would work and I would not have bought it in vain. On some site I found this version and bought it, although the site didn’t really look serious to me. Everything had to go QUICKLY, because I had to leave right away and I just wanted to have it up and running by then. Unrest mood from A-Z. The expensive purchase worked – but the purchased program did not. Was the site a dubious one? Oh, the site comes from Thailand…

When I tried to install the program, it said, “Warning: virus on computer.” I’m sitting there thinking, Great. The money is gone, it doesn’t even work, and I have a virus on my PC ont top of this! I did EVERYTHING wrong. How could THAT possibly turn out right now? Then I quieted down inwardly and took some silence time. What was that just now? Why does it have to happen so quickly? Why am I blundering through it, WHILE it is unrest? I turned back and apologized to God for just not being faithful to His actions, because my place would definitely have been somewhere else at that point. Then I said, “This is leading to the very best now. Even if I have to pay it as a lesson.” After that I was inwardly free and cheerful again, although NOTHING had changed in the circumstance. I had hardly finished claiming for myself that EVERYTHING is for the best and I was also ready to pay the apprenticeship money – to own it, when I saw the message from the account that it has debited only 5, – CHF from this large order. That big amount was Thai currency! And I got back the refund from the other company for the upgrade. Yeahhhh … GREAT! At that point I had to do a little dance of joy, because I EXPERIENCED that EVERYTHING is for the best!

It gave me courage to KNOW in all challenging life situations that everything is for EVERYBODY’S BEST, REGARDLESS of how much I feel I have done EVERYTHING wrong. But then, what are my mistakes to God? Isn’t He big enough to build my mistakes into His plan so that it will work out again? This is not even peanuts for him! He even makes a game out of it and says: “GO! Do what you want. As long as you mean ME, you can go wrong as much as you don’t want to, it will work out in the end. There will be a BLESSING out of it!” (Excerpt from the 2021 Annual Conference) And with that, I want to encourage you!

Yours,

Ruth Elpida